Declaration stating which candies should be placed in exile...

Ok. So I don't trick or treat anymore. (At 19, people began to heckle me and my friends)

However, our kids trick or treat now and it's a pretty good gig. I forgot the simplicity of wandering up to houses with 'the lights on' and scoring mad bank of fructose and chocolate.

Halloween brought back some great and not-so-great memories. Great memories included getting in the costume, hanging out with friends and eating enough chocolate to keep anti-zit companies in business for a year.

What are the bad memories, you ask? Just one...the weird 'treats'. There is no particular order, all are of equal rediculousness, however, and should be banned from any 'festivity'.

1. Sun Maid Box of Raisins: For real? Loosely packed "fruit"? That has psycho written all over it. I'd rather step on something sharp in my bare feet than to eat of box of those.

2. Jolly Ranchers: Ok. New packaging and new look, but still the same, gross candy who's packaging adheres to the candy impeding quick enjoyment. No thanks. So little flavor in them it's not worth the time investment to "eat".

3. Butterscotch candy: A distant cousin to the Jolly Rancher, although somewhat tastier. These should be exiled because you get them at any office all year long. There's no sanctity in the butterscotch. There's nothing "treat oriented" about them.

4. Kleenex mini-packs: I didn't see any this year, but I am convinced they were out there. This is just bad taste. Literally.

5. Sweet tart necklaces: Sweet tarts are 'ok'...but only if you don't sweat. If you live in Miami, walk around in a costume in the heat, you will sweat profusely. The 'jewelry that is candy you can eat' becomes soaked with sweat and air dirt residue. Gew. Again, not well thought out.

The list is not exhaustive by any means, but it's a valiant start. If you have your own candidates, I'd love to hear them!